“It’s kinky when he hits me…”

I’ve been watching the efforts of Stella Ramsaroop, Varshanie Singh and other strong women. I’ve been watching them stand up and at least attempt to fight the scourge of domestic violence which continues to plague Guyana. I’ve been sickened by the deaths of too many women. I’ve been angry at the Guyana Police Force for their lack of response.

However, I’ve discovered something far more sickening. I’ve realised that Stella, Varshanie and our entire army which fights against domestic violence are in many ways battling layers of psychological complexities in the Guyanese woman. Against these psychological complexities, I am not sure just how much of an effect our army is actually having.

Not so long ago, a woman said this to me: “It’s kinky when he hits me…and he doesn’t mean it really. He loves me.” At first I could not believe my ears. I understand the concept of highly passionate (rough) sex but I could not believe that a woman could actually become so damaged that she would delude herself into believing that physical abuse affords her some sort of twisted sexual pleasure.

But wait, this is not the shocker. After I’d voiced my concern for her, the same woman asked me why in the world I believed I was qualified to deem her damaged. Well, I rest my case. I still haven’t recovered from that one.

2 thoughts on ““It’s kinky when he hits me…”

  1. It does not surprise me that this woman thinks in the manner that she does. We can become so conditioned to think of ourselves as subservient & that we’re actually serving a greater purpose than is really accurate, that the delusions do become ingrained in our psyches. Some women feel so honored to be in the man’s life that she will take any treatments doled out to her in the misguided notion that she holds a place of high esteem in his estimation. Wrong – but it seems to be the case with many victims.

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